I have decided I need to change things up a lot.
I had to stop my medication last Friday because we think I am having a reaction to it. I have been having severe hot, red rashes on my legs and sometimes on my arms and they itch like nothing I have ever felt before. The only way to calm them down is to put an ice pack straight on the rash and… wait.
After just a week of being off the medication I am already in pain. My fine motor skills have already diminished. I am waking through the night in agony, all over and waking in the morning extremely stiff and in such pain. I struggle to manipulate my hair tie around my ponytail, I struggle to hold my cutlery, this morning my fingers just let go of my sons breakfast bowl and it shattered on the ground.
Its frightening how fast the symptoms came back and the depths of suppression I had sent the memories of my worst days to. It is somehow ridiculously familiar and completely foreign, all at once.
I cant do much about anything at the moment. I cannot start a new medication until I see a lung specialist – which could be 6+ months wait in the glorious (sarcasm) public health system. I really cannot do anything, so I need to do something.
I have no idea what bearing my diet holds over my wellness. Well, I am not entirely stupid and I like to think I am not ignorant – so I know Health is wealth and healthy foods exist for a reason – but as a chronically Ill person – I have no idea how much power is in a healthy diet after the disease has already begun ravaging my body.
Is it too little, too late? or can I make even some tiny symptoms better for myself?
So my husband and son leave for a weeks holiday on Thursday (I cant get time off work). I decided that since it will be easier to try something like this while not having to cook two different meals – I will start on Monday and hopefully be right into it by the time they leave on Thursday. Hopefully by the time they return a week later the benefits will have been so obvious, that I will be happy to suck it up and do a bit of extra cooking most days and stick with it.
I have no idea how I will go or if it will work… I really don’t.
But if I don’t try – then it will always be that way.